joke

Question: What did Russia do to influence the election? Answer: They helped the democrats finally deliver on their promises of transparency. :D:lol::thankyou: (borrowed from facebook)

http://forum.gon.com/showthread.php?t=44237&highlight=mock+scrape+bucks

A young man with his pants hanging half off his hind end, two gold front teeth, and a half inch thick gold chain around his neck, walked into the local welfare office to pick up his cheque. He marched up to the counter and said, "Hi. You know, I just HATE living on welfare hanging out all day...

three girls that went to high school together finally graduated from college & decided to take a trip together overseas to celebrate. third night out, they got ripped to the gills in a bar & woke up in a jail. jailer comes in, says "lets go, time for your execution! they drag the girls down &...

allegedly on facebook... "why old men can't get jobs" HR person- "tell me, what is your greatest weakness?" old man- "it would be my honesty." HR person-" I don't think honesty is a weakness!" old man-"who gives a @#$% what YOU think ?" :cheers:

A pretty little girl named Suzy was standing on the sidewalk in front of her home. Next to her was a basket containing a number of tiny creatures; in her hand was a sign announcing "FREE KITTENS." Suddenly a line of big black cars pulled up beside her. Out of the lead car stepped a tall...

I got a laugh out of this; please accept my apology in advance if you find it offensive... Catholic Mass with Nancy Pelosi. Last Saturday afternoon, in Washington , D.C. , an aide to Nancy Pelosi visited the Bishop of the Catholic cathedral in D.C...

Recently, while I was working in my yard, my neighbors stopped to chat as they returned home from walking their dog. During our friendly conversation, I asked their 12 year-old daughter what she wanted to be when she grows up. She said that she wanted to be the president someday. Both...

Real nerd humor. Actually read this back when I worked at DEC (Digital Equipment Corp.) Just found it on the 'net. (And some people still wonder why the second-largest computer company in the world folded...) Q: How many DEC employees does it take to change a lightbulb? A: 2 People -...

The Afghan Quarterback The coach had put together the perfect team for the Chicago Bears. The only thing that was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges and even the Canadian and European Leagues, but he couldn't find a ringer who could ensure a Super Bowl win. Then...

The Arrogance of Authority A DEA officer stopped at a ranch in Texas , and talked with an old rancher. He told the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs." The rancher said, "Okay, but don't go in that field over there.....", as he pointed out the location...

A Catholic Priest, a Baptist Preacher and a Rabbi all served as Chaplains to
 the students of Northern Michigan University at Marquette in the Upper
 Peninsula of Michigan.

They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk
shop.

 One day, someone made the comment that...

I got this one from Ann at Border bows and just had to pass it on. Difference between Turpentine and Holy Water: A little boy was sitting on the footpath with a bottle of Turpentine. He was shaking it up and watching all the bubbles. A Priest came along and asked the little boy what he had...

JESUS AND THE DEMOCRAT (I don't care what party you like, this one's funny!!) A Republican, in a wheelchair, entered a restaurant one afternoon and asked the waitress for a cup of coffee. The Republican looked across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus sitting over there?" The waitress...

just got one in the mail today (new to me) with 2 sets of limbs 49# and 60# ,the 49# makes a 60" bow and the 60# makes a 64" ,the 49# are some of the smoothest limbs i have ever shot ,and fast ,now i have got to put the 60# on and see how smooth and fast they are ,the riser is black and so are...

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Thought I"d try to bring a little levity to the board. If not, if you've heard this one before, oh well.......happy holidays anyway. 3 gentlemen are standing at the pearly gates with St. Peter(SP, from now on) standing by to allow entry. He looks them over and says, "Since this is Christmas...

Put about 100 bricks, in some particular order, in a closed room, with an open window. Send 2 or 3 candidates into the room and close the door. Leave them alone and come back after 6 hours. Analyze the situation according to the following: 1. If they are counting the bricks, put them in the...

Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on their faces. The coroner calls the police to tell them what has happened. "First body: Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure while making love to his mistress. Hence the enormous smile, Inspector," says the Coroner...

Good French Joke Ted Nugent was being interviewed by a British journalist. The journalist asked, "What do you think the last thought is in the head of a deer before you shoot it? Is it, `Are you my friend?` or is it `Are you the one who killed my brother?'" Nugent replied, "They aren't capable...