She's Pregnant - What Does The Church Do?

[WildmanSC]

We had a young lady in our church who has gotten pregnant out of wedlock. She, her parents, the young man and his father all came before our church yesterday morning and admitted their sin and asked the church to forgive them. Then last night they went to his church and did the same thing.

The big question, what does the church do? I only know what our church did. Led by our Pastor, we did not judge, we loved them, we embraced them one by one, wept with them and let them know we are praying for them. We also thanked them for having the courage to come before the congregation, admit their sin and ask for forgiveness.

Actually, they had already repented of their sin and asked the Lord to forgive them, so the church really did not have a roll in forgiving them, persay, but had we not, then the church would have sinned. They are getting married next month after the young man finishes his second, and final, year at the local military college, The Citadel. He will not be permitted to continue at The Citadel since he will be married.

Had they not been repentant, the church's action would have, and should have, been much different. The Holy Bible in I Cor 5 provides strong direction as to what the church is to do in the event of unrepentant sin of this nature. It is called church discipline, something foreign to most of the modern day churches.

Now the question is, what would your church do?

Bill

[WildmanSC]

Let me clarify just a bit what actually happened. Pastor called the two families and the two young people, she's 21 and he is 20, to stand in the front of the church at floor level. Pastor stood at the pulpit and informed the church of the events of the past 4 or 5 days and the counselling between he, the young man's Pastor, the two families and the two young people. He then had the two young people walk up onto the platform and they each stood at the pulpit and publicly acknowledged their sin, the fact that they had repented and asked Christ to forgive them, and asked the church family to forgive them.

It was at that point that Pastor put the onous on the church body to come forward, embrace the families, communicate to them that they would pray for them, and to LEAVE THIS MATTER HERE IN THE CHURCH WHERE IT BELONGS. As he stated, "If you go out and gossip about this young couple and/or their parents, you will have sinned and if it gets back to me then I will counsel with YOU!" Amen!!

Bill

[Cueball]

Sounds like your churched handled it well. It just made me stop and think though I am glad I don't have to stand in front of my church and publicly repent of every sin I commit. I believe sin is sin and in God's eyes it is all disobidence to his commands. I just love grace.





...............................................Rob y.....................................

[Bowcephalus]

The first,best steps for the child, who is innocent. May he or she be born to two loving parents who will continue to do what's right, supported by all in the church, family, and community...........

[Heathen]

Looks to me to consenting adults had SEX and the end result was the women became pregnant. It's no ones business but their own, why involve a church and it's congregation?
Talk about Big Brother...!!! Christianity in this form scares the HELL out of me.

Jim

[BLACK WOLF]

Jim,

If it scares the hell out of you...than I sure hope it scares a piece of heaven right into you than ;)

One of the reasons we exsist here on earth is to share relationships with people and one of the things we do is hold each other accountable...that's why everyone...even you have rules and laws to follow.

If it was no one's business what we did we wouldn't have any rules or laws.

You might see it as 2 concenting adults just having sex...we see at as 2 concenting adults having sex before they were suppose to and disobeying one or more of God's rules.

There really isn't any requirement to confess your sins other than to God, but when you confess your sins to others, it allows those people to step in and help each other stay on the straight and narrow.

I don't have time right now to go into why God doesn't want us to have sex before marriage, but I'm hoping someone else will.

God doesn't hate sex...He created sex....It is one of the most intimate and beautiful ways a husband and wife can communicate with one another. Gods laws aren't placed here to keep us from enjoying life...but quite the opposite...they are here to protect us.

What God hates is disobedience in any form.

Agape,

Ray ;)

[Viper]

Heathan -

A lot of folks turn to their church as a support group, when they're troubled, for any number of reasons. Whether you or I agree with with it, is irrelevant; it's something this couple needed/wanted to do, and the end result proved that it did work. In this case it's a win/win situation for the parents, the church and the child. Could have been a lot worse if they didn't have anyone to turn too.

Viper out.

[WildmanSC]

Looks to me to consenting adults had SEX and the end result was the women became pregnant. It's no ones business but their own, why involve a church and it's congregation?
Talk about Big Brother...!!! Christianity in this form scares the HELL out of me.

Jim

Heathen,

It was hardly a matter of Big Brother. The young couple wanted to make sure they got their new marriage started off on the right foot, rather than the wrong foot, and both families, i.e., their parents, felt it was important that for them to do so they should publicly acknowledge and repent of their sin, consenting adults had SEX works for Bill Clinton and the world but NOT Christians, and ask the church's forgiveness. Without repentance, there is no forgiveness of sin.

It is impossible to comprehend what actually transpired in our family meeting, i.e., church family meeting, without having been there and observed it. The love poured out to those two families was an unbelievable sight to behold. I echo Ray's thoughts, may Hell be scared out of you and thoughts of the reality of Heaven scared into you.

Cueball,

Not all sins are of the nature and level to require public repentance and asking of forgiveness. I'm with you on that one. I don't know if I would have the courage of that young couple.

Bill

[Heathen]

Heathen,

It was hardly a matter of Big Brother. The young couple wanted to make sure they got their new marriage started off on the right foot, rather than the wrong foot, and both families, i.e., their parents, felt it was important that for them to do so they should publicly acknowledge and repent of their sin, consenting adults had SEX works for Bill Clinton and the world but NOT Christians, and ask the church's forgiveness. Without repentance, there is no forgiveness of sin.

It is impossible to comprehend what actually transpired in our family meeting, i.e., church family meeting, without having been there and observed it. The love poured out to those two families was an unbelievable sight to behold. I echo Ray's thoughts, may Hell be scared out of you and thoughts of the reality of Heaven scared into you.

Cueball,

Not all sins are of the nature and level to require public repentance and asking of forgiveness. I'm with you on that one. I don't know if I would have the courage of that young couple.

Bill


Why bring Bill Clinton into this? I can name more than a few conservative politicians and icons who have been caught with their pants down, but that's okay God forgave them because of their political leanings...!!!

Jim

[WildmanSC]

"Why bring Bill Clinton into this? I can name more than a few conservative politicians and icons who have been caught with their pants down, but that's okay God forgave them because of their political leanings...!!!"

Jim,

I guess the reason I brought Bill Clinton in is because he was a very high profile person, the President of the United States, who had sex in the Oval Office of the White House. And many dismissed it as "consensual sex between two adults", terminology used by you and I was merely illustrating a point. Had it been a Conservative Republican President, the National Organization of Women would have been screaming for his head on a platter for abuse of power and position. And I assure you had he been as bold faced unrepentant about it as Clinton, the conservative Christian leaders would have condemned his actions just as they did Clinton's, and rightfully so.

I assure you, however, it doesn't matter what your political party, your political bent might be, God does not forgive merely because you are conservative or a Republican. He forgives solely because you repent of your sin.

In actuality, the discussion is off topic so this will be my last post related to "others" who may have had consensual sex.

Bill

[Bowcephalus]

If the Church stands for nothing it becomes the very antithesis of what Christ intended.....If Bill Clinton had the wisdom and courage of these two, and I might add, both parents, he might have been one of the best presidents we've had in recent history. What these two young people have done with their act of courage in dealing with their mistake, has diffused any and all negative response from people central to their own and future child's life.....They have turned gossip into praise,dissent into unity,fear into dedication....Those who would have inescapably been their harshest critics,right or wrong,have been turned into their most ardent defenders.....I don't despise Clinton, I am sorry for the lost potential and missed opportunity........

[Bowcephalus]

Consentual sex?! Consent of whom?!!! Surely the millions of neglected, abused,children born into a shattered, loveless,relationship for the selfish 20+- minute indulgence in personal gratification did not give their consent.....The term "consentual sex" in it's present day context sickens me because it tramples into the dust all regard for the child which is the good and natural result of the relationship between man and woman.....It lowers man to the level of animal and reduces civilizations to depravity.....Human history is replete with examples, and the definition of insanity is repeating the same behavior while expecting a different result......

[BLACK WOLF]

Great posts Bowc!

Ray ;)

[WildmanSC]

Bowc,

Park it there for awhile and preach on Brother!

Bill

[Bowcephalus]

I ain't in no position to preach, just come from a family with a long and diverse history on both sides of the issue and have seen enough for me to know God is a loving God, has things set up to work either for or against us depending on how we treat each other, and follow his rules......and that comes from a guy that hates rules and shuns authority......His love is beyond measure just as surely as his correction is inescapable....I've tested both enough to know.......

[Cato]

Bowc, great post. Outstanding post.

In our society there is so much talk about homosexuality, which is abhorant, that we tend to not emphasize the fact that God hates all forms of imorality.

The purpose of such action by a local church is not to humiliate the sinner; it is to love them back into a right realtionship with God, and other believers. That can only happen when the guilty person acknowledges his sin, and makes a real committment to let God change him. It is not necessary for every sinner to bring every sin before the church. But as Bowc expained quite well, it made HUGE strides for everyone in handing the situation well, and starting the healing process.

It took lots of courage for a young couple, or anyone to do that. I admire them for it. And I admire the pastor and local church for being serious about working through the problem, instead of just brushing it under the rug.

Cudos all around.

[WildmanSC]

I ain't in no position to preach, just come from a family with a long and diverse history on both sides of the issue and have seen enough for me to know God is a loving God, has things set up to work either for or against us depending on how we treat each other, and follow his rules......and that comes from a guy that hates rules and shuns authority......His love is beyond measure just as surely as his correction is inescapable....I've tested both enough to know.......

Bowc,

I didn't really mean preach on, perse. What I really was saying is AMEN!! But I was saying it in a bit different manner. It would have been better had I said directly rather than in illustration. :amen: :amen: :amen:

Bill

[WildmanSC]

"It took lots of courage for a young couple, or anyone to do that. I admire them for it. And I admire the pastor and local church for being serious about working through the problem, instead of just brushing it under the rug."

Cato,

Over the past 15 years our church has had to perform church discipline on 3 or 4 different occasions. In all cases, the people were placed outside the church for the precise purpose of restoration. That is what Paul commanded the church at Corinth to do in I Corinthians chapter 5. That chapter provides the commandment and the procedure for corporate church discipline. When it is followed in love, restoration is possible. Unfortunately, restoration has not been the end when we've had to do it. The first time we did it, in early 1991, we were subsequently sued as a church body and the Pastor, Business Manager, Church Treasurer and two Deacons named individually in the lawsuit. The South Carolina Supreme Court dismissed all of the charges brought before it and wrote a brief that could have well been written by our lawyers stating why they had no other course of action (because it was a local church matter which the government had no business getting involved).

Our Pastor deals with issues head on and from a scriptural perspective rather than turn his head and ignore them or try to sweep them under the rug. That is why Paul wrote in I Cor 5:6 Your glorying is not good. Know ye not that a little leaven leaveneth the whole lump?
7 Purge out therefore the old leaven, that ye may be a new lump, as ye are unleavened. For even Christ our passover is sacrificed for us:

The person(s) disciplined must have an awareness of their sin, the reason discipline was performed in the first place, and must seek the mind of Christ. If they do, they will see that repentance is necessary for their sin. They must repent to Christ and to the church. When I say to the church, what I mean is they must acknowledge their repentance, the repentance for which Christ has already forgiven them.


Bill